This one is OK,' I say quietly.‘OK, OK, OK. Everything is always just ‘OK’. It’s so boring. Who wants to be ‘OK’?I sit for a moment and think about what she said. It doesn’t take me long to realise that I, quite genuinely, just want to be OK.

I used to feel like this all the time and it didn’t bother me, but it’s different now. (…)…and besides, I want to test them. I have been the third wheel in this friendship for around ten years. They have no idea who I really am. It’s the exact opposite to my friendship with Flo. All these years I’ve passed off their lack of interest in me as an innocent vacancy, but it’s now feeling more like selfishness. I don’t belong here.

Well, people who acknowledge their faults aren't so angry about them. Oh to be selfish, eh?'‘I think life would be easier if I was selfish.’‘No, it wouldn’t. Not really. Those people aren’t happy, they’ll be on their death beds with little more than a life time of guilt and regret to think about. People like us die with a clear conscience, Flo. That’s the best way to be. If you admit to where you go wrong at least you stand a chance of making it better.’I still wish I was selfish.

You need to realise how gorgeous you are.'She laughs, but I’m not trying to be funny. ‘I mean it Flo, you really are. Somewhere under all that disbelief.

My life has changed so much over the last month. I lost the most important person in my entire world and when I thought I would never survive it Renee was just there, distracting me from all of it. I don’t know what would have happened to me if the only person I had to talk to was Sally. My heart might have stopped, like Dad’s.

I’m hoping for an apology. An acknowledgement that she’s made me feel like crap about myself again, but obviously I don’t get anything like that out of her. She just sits in front of my mirror, rearranging her cleavage.

Because as much as I dislike her, I would prefer not to have an enemy.

Nothing. That's why it's funny. It's so bad I just think it's funny,' Renee says, tilting her head back so the chips don't fall out of her mouth.‘Do you really?’‘If I don’t laugh about it what else will I do?’She doesn’t actually laugh though. She falls back, throws chips into the air and tries to catch them in her mouth

My arm is weighted by the huge pile of clothing she’s hung over it. A moment of clarity comes over me. This isn’t what friendship is about, I know that now.

I just sit there where she tells me to and don’t make a fuss. If I answer back she gets loud and shouty. I don’t want everyone seeing how badly she pushes me around.It’s best just to take it.God knows what people mus think of me - some nervous, quiet drip with no opinion probably. It wouldn’t be far off the truth I should have stood up to Sally years ago, but she’d make my life I did...